A Murderer´s Playground

2011-05-26T18:02:00.008+01:00

You know when you´re drunk when you are on your iPhone phoning someone to give you a ride home and call your mp3 player´s music artists.

Top Songs 2010

2010-12-31T03:01:00.002Z

1º-MGMT - Siberian Breaks
2º-MGMT- Flash Delerium
4º-Tennis- Cape Dory
5º-Tennis- South-Carolina
6º-Gorillaz - To Binge (feat. Little Dragon)
7º-Magic Kids– Summer
8º-Sleigh Bells- Infinity Guitars
9º-Tennis-Marathon
10º-Magic Kids – Skateland
11º-Gorillaz - On Melancholy Hill
12º-These New Puritans - Attack Music
13º-The Drums- Best Friend
14º-Egyptian hip hop- Wild Human Child
15º-Everything Everything -photoshop_handsome
16º-Vampire Weekend- Holiday
17º-MGMT – Congratulations
18º-Gorillaz - Empire Ants (feat. Little Dragon)
19º-The Drums- Let´s go Surfing
20º-Tanlines--real_life
21º-Kanye West – Monster
22º-Vampire Weekend -Diplomat's Son
23º-Gorillaz - White Flag
24º-Warpaint – Elephants
25º-Summer Camp-Ghost Train
26º-Magic Kids - Hey Boy
27º-Rolo Tomassi- Party Wounds
28º-Surfer Blood – Twin Peaks
29º-These New Puritans - We Want War
30º-Fang Island - Treeton
31º-El Guincho – Bombay
32º-Summer Camp - I Only Have Eyes For You
33º-Summer Camp - Jake Ryan
34º-Waves - When Will You Come
35º-Gold Panda -Quitters Raga
36º-Everything Everything –suffragette suffragette
37º-Joanna Newsom - Does not suffice
38º-Best Coast - When I'm With You
39º-Surfer Blood – Swim
40º-Best Coast –Boyfriend
42º-Funeral Party - NYC Moves To The Sound Of LA
43º-Delorean - Stay Close
44º-Best Coast-Our deal
45º-Everything Everything-schoolin
46º-Phantogram - As Far As I Can See
47º-Toro y Moi-lissoms
48º-Frankie and the Heartstrings-hunger
49º-LCD Soundsystem- Pow Pow
50º-Arcade Fire – Sprawl II
52º-Toro y Moi -you_hid
53º-Wavves – Idiot
54º-Darwin Deez - Radar Detector
55º-Allo_darlin-heartbeat_chilli
56º-Wavves - Mickey Mouse
57º-Wild Nothing - Summer Holiday
58º-Janelle Monáe - Tightrope (Feat. Big Boi)
59º-Surfan Stevans-Age of Adz
60º-B Fachada -Os Discos do Sérgio Godinho
61º-One happy island – Temporary Tattoo
62º-Neverever-young-and-dumb
63º-Total Babe-bearbones
64º-Real Estate - Beach Comber
65º-Cults - Oh My God
66º-Frankie and the Heartstrings -Possibilities
67º-Fishermans – 2012
68º-Os Pontos Negros-Rei Bã
69º-Verão Azul- O nosso tempo
70º-N.E.R.D - Hypnotize u

Best 2010 Albums

2010-12-04T14:41:00.002Z

Time floats when you´re having lukewarm fun

2010-06-07T22:21:00.001+01:00

Unexpected delayed departure flights and dull entangled intimate committed relationships share the same flaws, in both of them people came to early, leading to subsequent emotional disappointment.

If a person forgets his own birthday does that mean he´s modest to celebrate, has a bad memory, isn’t willing to count or simply doesn’t want to know how many turns the sun did around earth since he came alive?

Providing the fact that a some child was conceived by mistake due to expired condom failure does that give the mother the right not to feel blamed about only remembering the condom´s expiration date, by trauma, and not the child´s actual birthday?

Deplorable Mental Images #1

2010-05-15T22:02:00.001+01:00

WaterPark meets Barbwire

2010-04-30T01:50:00.000+01:00

Catastrophes don't need apostrophes

2010-04-19T00:42:00.002+01:00

There should be the "dinosaur" element in the scissors,paper,rock game after asteroids wiped out those species on earth.

If Earth was human it would definitely be a teenager with an identity crisis, if not let us see:
- Earthquakes resemble earth´s involuntary spasms
- Tornadoes, its shivering sensation about managing life´s hopes and dreams
- Vulcanos, its explosive bursting pimples typical of its teenage-hood

Academical support backs the fact that birds evolved from dinosaurs. Chickens are considered bird. Humans eat chickens. I think that in a couple of years time KFC´s new slogan should be "An asteroid didn't vanish dinosaurs,we did!and proudly"

I like the way World War I is actually also known as "the First Great War", as if a war was just by itself not bad enough they´re actually not just calling it great as well as the "first great"one. That´s an offense to the other wars I would say, they probably will feel sensitive about this.

Cannibalism Realism

2010-03-11T21:52:00.002Z

Scorpions are cannibals and most of the times, when engaging in sexual activity, the female will generally try to eat her partner. So the typically feminine "men are all the same" quote reaches its potential maximum meaning with these animals species since males here are always post-sex delicious energy replenishing meals no matter what.

If a cannibal decides to become a vegetarian does that mean he´s a quitter or a cheater?

I wonder if this equation explains the cannibals existence on earth:
[zombies^(hunt for flesh)+ vampires ^( blood sucking appetite)]

2010-01-30T02:27:00.000Z

Social Bounding

2010-01-28T15:52:00.002Z

It´s quite peculiar to come to terms with the principles of certain aspects of socialization. For instance, when two persons start mingling and by consequence, bounding, intrinsic common pleasures and personal hobbies like reading the same books,listening the same music or watching the same movies become a fundamental part in the relationship´s empathy and charismatic connection between the 2 persons. So, playing it simple, we can say that 2 persons can positively socialize if their leisure habits make them anti-socialize in the same way.

Miscellaneous post #13

2010-01-20T00:08:00.001Z

The similarities between mosquitos and vampires are pretty evident when it comes to blood sucking matters, but certain vampire movies like "Twilight" for instance, offered the world new coincidences, like the fact that both beings are now the most annoying organisms on earth.

The "I don't give a shit for ..." expression can be applied mainly to everything, but it couldn't have less meaning if applied to toilet paper.

Oranges are a lazy man´s best friend.Beeing an healthy food they prevent you from going to the pharmacy to get cold medicine as well as preventing you from getting your ass out of the couch in order to wash them before you eat them.

Sexual Matters

2009-12-31T22:13:00.002Z

To which extent is a person apologized for committing sexual arrestment with a woman named Gravity?

Running marathons and sexual intercourse are two different activities that have proportionally inverted rhythm goals, while in the first case you win if you come first, in the 2nd case this is not that of a good thing.

Top Songs 2009

2009-12-29T15:51:00.004Z

1.Sleigh Bells - Ring Ring
2.Animal Collective - My Girls
3.The Horrors - Sea Within A Sea
4.Micachu and the shapes- Abandon Ship
5.Animal Collective - Brothersport
6.Little Boots - Mathematics
7.The XX - Islands
8.White Lies - Unfinished Business
9.Arctic Monkeys- Cornerstone
10.Animal Collective - Daily Routine
11.Micachu and the shapes - Golden Phone
12.Animal Collective - Graze
13.Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks
14.La Roux - Armour Love
15.Florence and The Machine - Dog days are over
16.Fool´s Gold - Surprise Hotel
17.Passion Pit - Little Secrets
18.La Roux - Quicksand
19.Florence and The Machine - Kiss with a fist
20.Wild Beasts - The Empty Nest
21.The XX - Stars
22.Little Boots - Stuck on repeat
23.White Lies - Death
24.Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Little Shadow (acoustic)
25.The XX - Night Time
26.Emmy the great - MIA
27.U.S.E. - K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
28.Dirty Projectors - useful chamber
29.Little Boots - Meddle
30.Sleigh Bells - Crown on the ground
31.The Horrors - Scarlet Fields
32.Health - Die Slow
33.Wild Beasts - All The Kings Men
34.The Phenomenal Handclap Band - 15 to 20
35.La Roux - Bulletproof
36.White Lies - Fifty On Our Foreheads
37.Dirty Projectors - No intention
38.Slow Club- Me and you
39.Kabeedies - Lovers Ought To
40.Franz Ferdinand - What She Came For
41.Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)
42.Au revoir simone-the last one
43.Vampire Weekend - Cousins
44.Peter Doherty - Sheepskin tearaway
45.Animal Collective - What Would I Want! Sky
46.We Have Band - you came out
47.Kabeedies - Palindromes
48.Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - Cool Yourself
49.Rainbow Arabia - Harlem Sunrise
50.Patrick_wolf- Battle
50.YACHT - Psychic City

Xmas "fever"

2009-12-24T23:47:00.006Z

It´s almost Christmas,so kids, stop wishing "really hard" for a present and bang your heard really hard against a door and you might as well have a seizure and get amnesia, thus, all of your belongings are presents all over again!

If I shit in the toilet at midnight on Xmas eve will the sewer rats think that I´m Santa Claus?

You know Christmas isn't what it used to be by the moment you dont have any present to play with until 3AM in the morning anymore :/

A clever way to trade those xmas presents you actually didn't want and consequently take advantage of the post xmas sales season is fairly simple, keep the present and its receipt and then swap it for something more cheap and cheerful on post xmas sales!

Best Albums 2009

2009-12-10T16:57:00.002Z

Top Albums 00´s

2009-11-28T00:03:00.006Z

1º - The Strokes – Is This It
2º - Radiohead – Kid A
3º - Arcade Fire – Funeral
4º - The Pipettes - We are the pipettes
5º - Be Your Own Pet – Be Your Own Pet
6º - Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend
7º - Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
8º - Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
9º - Late of the Pier - Fantasy Black Channel
10º - Radiohead – In Rainbows
11º - Panda Bear - Person Pitch
12º - MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
13º - The Longcut – Call and Response
14º - Bloc Party – Silent Alarm
15º - Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Fever To Tell
16º - The Futureheads - The Futureheads
17º - The Libertines – Up the Bracket
18º - Kaiser Chiefs – Employment
19º - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - Clap your hands say Yeah
20º - Bright Eyes – I'm Wide Awake, it’s Morning
21º - The Go! Team - Proof of Youth
22º - Interpol – Antics
23º - Animal Collective - Merryweather Post Pavilion
24º - Lily Allen - Alright, Still
25º - Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
27º - Lcd Soundsystem - Lcd Soundsystem
28º - Sigur Rós - Ágætis byrjun
29º - The Hives - Veni Vidi Vicious
30º - Spank Rock – Yo Yo Yo Yo
31º - Gorillaz – Gorillaz
32º - The Strokes - Room on Fire
33º - LCD Soundsystem – Sound Of Silver
34º - Radiohead - Amnesiac
35º - Gorillaz - Demon Days
36º - The xx –xx
36º - Foals – Foals
37º - The Libertines – The Libertines
38º - Babyshambles – Down In Albion
39º - Friendly Fires - Friendly Fires
40º - The White Stripes – White Blood Cells
41º - Flight of the Conchords – Flight of the Conchords
42º - Hot Chip – The Warning
43º - You say party! We say die! – Hit the Floor
44º - Kasabian - Kasabian
45º - Battles - Mirrored
46º - GirlTalk - Night Ripper
47º - Testicicles – For Screening Purposes Only
48º - The Killers - Hot Fuss
49º - Last Shadow Pupets- Age of the Understatement
50º - Kanye West - The College Dropout
51º - Fiery Furnaces - Widow City
52º - Sigur Rós - ()
53º - The Horrors- Primary Colours
54º - CSS – CSS
55º - Justice - †
56º - Micachu and the Shapes – Jewellery
57º - Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
58º - Bonde do Role - Bonde do role with lasers
59º - Damon Albarn, Afel Bocoum, Toumani Diabaté & Friends - Mali Music
60º - MIA – Arular

Fatness, Juggling and Hospitals

2009-11-01T15:48:00.001Z

It´s good to be fat. It´s a generous and charitable thing to do, by the moment you have to dress XXL you have an entire wardrobe to donate to charity (you don't even have to mind about their size coz you know kids there are not greedy)

Fireball juggler is probably the most appealing job out there.There´s no other job in the world where with a 2 way benefit deepening on your work skill, if you´re good at it, it´s ok, you entertain crowds, if you´re bad at it and by any chances burn yourself, it´s your passport to house burglary without leaving fingerprint traces behind.

If there´s some person called "Well" out there in the world, how come is so eagerly requested by hospital patient´s visitors?

Miscellaneous post #12

2009-10-19T01:48:00.001+01:00

What´s a dream psychologist´s dream job? its own? xD

If we take a garbage bag to the garbage bag, are we cannibalizing the product or just being retards?

Waterparks are the closest you can get if you want to feel like the food you digest

2009-08-17T04:38:00.000+01:00

Miscellaneous post #11

2009-07-28T00:55:00.004+01:00

Have you ever wonder if there´s a correlation between doctors and bad hand writing?
Here´s some possible explanations for this matter:
-Doctors were once possessed by seismographs in some other life
-They are actually spies and communicate with each other through secret subliminal messages written in the medicine recipes
-They just like to draw sea waves in paper to mock patients

Humans have 2 ways of eating while they´re ageing:
-In childhood, they eat with their eyes
-When growing up, their conscience tells them what to eat

Always wander around with loads of change in your wallet, you never know if you get robbed by an ex shop or supermarket cashier.

2009-07-24T18:15:00.001+01:00

Kellog´s All Brains

2009-07-05T19:05:00.002+01:00

Miscellaneous post #10

2009-06-30T02:03:00.004+01:00

What a better reciprocal waste saving formula than humans making babies to be born on mothers day? Gift purchasing is cut down on both parts of the equations by default,thus leaving everybody evenly happy!

If an ophthalmologist´s patient tunes out a TV to static TV rain in the waiting room of some clinic, does he deserve to be rewarded with free medical services after gaining more patients?

I´ve took english classes in a language teaching institution where the earthquake safeness tips instructions sign is totally written in english with specific terms explained through a glossary in english as well!
I guess if my life was to be at risk there, it would definitely depend on my fast learning abilities in that course.

Miscellaneous post #9

2009-05-05T20:18:00.022+01:00

Taxi Drivers must be the luckiest workers in the world, they get a taxi ride home for free at the end of each day, not many people can say that. And if they forgot to deliver a customer, is this considered job homework?

Why do people tend to lift and wave their arms while riding a rollercoaster?Do they want to tell the world they don't suffer arm sweat? do they want highest taxidermy corpse they can get after they die there? are they trying to grab a cloud? do they think it´s a "look father, no hands" rollercoaster photo opportunity? have your say!

Why Job Interviews are important...

2009-05-02T02:44:00.005+01:00

(w8)/(Believe)-ing

2009-04-20T01:47:00.004+01:00

A church is like a hospital´s waiting room, in both of them people pray to god not to be sick ,to be healthy forever and hope not to suffer anything dangerous, the only difference between them is that, if faith followers are in a hospital´s waiting room, they´re a few church visits short.

1...2...1!2!3!FAIL!

2009-04-08T02:43:00.003+01:00

Why do rock n´roll musicians always have to count to 1,2,3,4 before the beginning of each song?do they had a trauma counting numbers in their childhood?or do they do this because they feel the need to count the total numbers of members in their band to check if they can carry on?
And some singers even repeat the first 2 numbers,something like: 1...2... 1,2,3,4! it´s like their warming up their motorcycle engine or something.
Wouldn´t it be more practical and convenient to use complex names of diseases or so?
Rhinosinusitis...Amebiasis...
Rhinosinusitis!Amebiasis!Hypertrophic!Bronchiolitis!Mucormycosis! Pampammmm Parampam!

The Meaning Of Life

2009-02-01T14:33:00.005Z

As far as the human race gain consciousness of its presence on earth a question rose all of the sudden, and that question is about life and what´s its meaning. Well, for starters, most of the humanity most be very lazy since they can find its meaning in every dictionary:

life(noun)
1.the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.

Nevertheless i´ll try to describe myself a plausible explanation for it, in every time aspect of it´s timelife evolution.
First of all, on birth a female human squeezes a tiny human organism from it´s utter in organism, this can be some sort of canon test shooting technique to figure out the human accuracy on target. Then this tiny humanoid organism grows, and, somehow the purpose of it´s life as it grows is to get wet in water all the time, i´ll explain. By the moment that humans wake up all they want to do is to shower,thus wet themselves. During all year, humans work so as to have a reasonable amount of money to spent, and where do they spend this money? on vacations, and where to they vacate? in sunny places where there is a beach near, and for what purpose? to wet themselves.So humans live their life's to vacate in water. Kinda like pigs but more hygienic.
And what does sleep stage means?Well i´ll try to show you with a cartoon:

Oh, and finally, regarding the canon test shooting technique to figure out the human accuracy on target I mention early, well that accuracy is well needed since when death arrives humans have to be buried, so, somebody has to have the strength and accuracy to basket them deep bellow.
Therefore and to sum up everything, the meaning of life is a whole gigantic prolonged basketball shooting range test, where the "ball" trembles in between beach baths until it reaches his basket. voilá!

Always look on the side of bright side of Life

2009-01-13T23:56:00.000Z

They´re are innumerous disorders which have plenty of good sides to them, here are a few examples:

Alzheimer: Con: Forgetting Stuff once and a while Pro: Remembering Stuff when you least expect, like some forgotten penny below the couch´s pillow = Unexpected imminent happiness, hurray!

Amnesia: Con:Forgetting Everything Pro:Trauma Removal = Don’t have to deal with those bad sexuality doubts in adolescence times or that time you got caught by your parents dancing naked around the house riding a broom, oh wait, did I said that out loud?

Stammering: Con:Speech disorder in which the flow of speech is disrupted by involuntary repetitions Pro:Great Dj beatboxing skills

Tourette Syndrome : Con:disorder with multiple vocal tics Pro:Great testosterone level mechanism since cursing may come out a lot (anger management therapy not included, evidently)

Narcolepsy: Con: Excessive Daytime Sleepiness Pro: Although soup doesn’t taste much better after you fell with your head in it, this sickness is the perfect excuse to annoying moment such as: you´re lover yelling at you for leaving the toilet seat up, your mom telling you to clean your room, reading this blog..but hey!dont go just yet ,there´s another post coming up :)

- There´s some news today regarding prison guards that were bribed to allow a prisioner´s wife to have sex with him in his cell.Well, I wonder what bad could happen to these guards themselves? go to jail? oh the horror...

Top Songs 2008

2008-12-25T19:30:00.001Z

1º Vampire Weekend - M79
2º Vampire Weekend -Oxford comma
3º Be Your Own PET- Becky
4º MGMT- Future Reflections
5º Late of the Pier-the bears are coming
6º Late of the Pier-random firl
7º MGMT- Of Moons, Birds & Monsters
8º Vampire Weekend -a-punk
9º Vampire Weekend - mansard roof
10º Vampire Weekend - cape cod kwassa kwassa
11º Late of the Pier-the enemy are the future
12º MGMT- Time to Pretend
13º Late of the Pier-heartbeat
14º Late of the Pier-focker
15º Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal
16º The Last Shadow Puppets - Meeting Place
17º Ladyhawke Back Of The Van
18º The Mae Shi - Run the your grave
19º Foals- Balloons
20º MGMT- Electric Feel
22º Blood Red Shoes - It's Getting Boring By The Sea
23º Those Dancing Days - Those Dancing Days
24º Chairlift - Bruises
25º Lykke Li- Breaking It Up
26º The Ting Tings-Great Dj
27º The Kills - Cheap And Cheerful
28º Estelle feat. Kanye West- American Boy
29º Hot Chip - Ready for the floor
30º Lykke Li- I'm Good, I'm Gone
31º Blood Red Shoes - You Bring Me Down
32º The Last Shadow Puppets - Standing Next to Me
33º Lykke Li-Little Bit
34º The Kills - U.R.A. Fever
35º Blood Red Shoes - This Is Not For You
36º Be Your Own PET- The Beast Within
37º Joe Lean and the jing jon jings - Lucio Starts Fires
38º She & Him - Change Is Hard
39º Rolo Tomassi - Scabs
40º The Ting Tings-Thats Not My Name
41º She & Him - You Really Gotta Hold On Me
42º She & Him - Why Do You Let Me Stay Here
43º Florence+The Machine - kiss with a fist
44º Santogold - I'm A Lady
45º Flight of the Conchords - Foux du Fafa
46º Flight of the Conchords-Ladies Of The World
47º Os Pontos Negros -Canção da Lili
48º Santogold - Lights Out
49º Alphabeat - Fascination
50º Yelle-Je veux te voir

Top 2008

2008-12-07T18:02:00.001Z

Crash Test(ed) Dummies

2008-11-29T18:04:00.002Z

There´s an exposition in Lisbon where there are accidentally originated damaged cars displayed inside road roundabouts exactly in one of the most traffic zones in the city, is this supposed to be amusing? or stimulating people who drive by and see those cars to have an accident in seconds time as well and be themselves a "work of art" to that exhibition?

Today i´ve saw a hospital right near to a funerary agency,does this motivate the doctors there? i mean, its like a goddam human lifetime cycle factory they have going on there, give birth, be sick, dye and package body, over and over

Miscellaneous post #8

2008-11-21T23:18:00.001Z

Stammerers don't only have reasons to be disappointed with themselves, they can multiply their echoing in mountain tops as many times as they want without even noticing.

What´s the deal with stand up comedians saying "what´s the deal with..?", were they brokers or stock financial market addicts in their past reincarnation?

Cantine cooks are the only type of employees who can eat their own work.

Pre-Historic Graffiti

2008-11-19T20:34:00.002Z

Graffiti paintings nowadays are mainly considered vandalism, but i wonder, back in the pre-historic times, did they actually have someone to rub out the primitive paintings on the rocks?I mean, did they had like, some major supreme identity to weep out all the main and only artistic hobbie?
And graffiti nowadays are done by people who claim "their from the streets", and this makes me wonder where were the Australopithecus were from...
I´ll leave that to paleoanthropology.

2008-11-03T23:54:00.004Z

Electric Eel

2008-11-03T21:24:00.004Z

Who´s the only animal with autism (emotionless animal) able to get away with pic up lines towards females?
The male glow-worm, with: "Your ass is briliant!" :D

What does a female dog says to a vicious horny drulling male dog? Do you have rabies or are you just happy to see me?

Glow worms generate light, eels make electricity, could a mix up between these two cause a shortcircuit?Maybe stars are their babies :D

(Ar)rest on laurels

2008-11-02T23:22:00.058Z

Drumming is the most counter-productive activity out there, you're sitting on a chair supposedly relaxing albeit squandering your rest at the same time. And what can one do after being tired of drumming so much? Rest right? By doing what? sitting on a chair! There you go! It´s an viced and cycled energy expenditure activity.

When running I like to hear the most funniest stand up comedy CD whatsoever, hence It makes me want to piss myself laughing throughout of it all, making me have extra reasons to keep on running to reach the toilet.

Graveyard Parties

2008-10-25T19:56:00.006+01:00

Why do people say: "she´s gone, but she´s in a much better place now" when someone dies?If that would be true, subway drivers and miners would be delighted with their work.

What does a comedian cannibal say to another one after eating a whole group of 4 people wo were doing a safari ride?
" I think i´m gonna throw parties"

2008-09-23T14:05:00.001+01:00

Am i the only one or Bryan Adam´s "Summer of 69" song was a tribute to a wild sex marathon season in his life?

The Question is, if onions were jewish people could they put Hitler to Cry?

Miscellaneous post #7

2008-09-21T02:37:00.000+01:00

You never can be too late for a running exercise, because, normally, the moment you´re late to something, you tend to run for it, in this case, when you do this you´re already doing what you were late for.

Baker is the only profession where workers apparently seem to have two professions according to where they´re at. If they´re indoors baking they´re bakers, but outdoors, all dressed up in white like that they seem like belonging to some religious cult.

Ipso Facto

2008-09-15T01:15:00.000+01:00

People´s intrinsic actions are the best" publicity" to other people, if more than 2 people are staring at a laptop in a store, more people will arrive and stare at it, if someone yawns, other people tend to yawn too, if people think some train is about to leave the station, people will run for it, and if only one person does that, a bunch of new people are about to follow this"imaginary subway train"as well.

Vegan Post

2008-08-31T02:52:00.002+01:00

My carnivorous plant died, it made a drastic life change and decided to become a vegetarian, needless to say that no one warned her about automatically becoming cannibalistic too.

Hitler was a vegetarian, who would have known irrationality was the key for jews to be treated nicely.

Miscellaneous post #6

2008-07-23T17:56:00.002+01:00

Ever wonder if much of nature´s natural disasters could be explain by the "hands of god"? for instance:
Thunderstorm: God´s taking us pictures using his flash on the camera, and 10 seconds later wets himself of laughter at us thus, this explains the rain after the thunder.
Earthquake:God pulls huge lever when he fells a bit bored and has the need to sake things up a bit, just for the fun of it :)

2008-07-23T17:51:00.000+01:00

Miscellaneous post #5

2008-07-21T15:44:00.002+01:00

Ever wonder yourself why there are seats in the last subway stations of a line?i mean, why does anyone have to seat there?Do i need to wait for the subway train that leads to the station itself?

Aint it funny to see people gesticulate what they want to say to people that they know they´re far away and can´t hear them and yet, they kinda whisper what they want to say anyway? :P

What´s wrong with markets these days and their egos, why is a market called a supermarket? Does he need a super hero reputation to keep him ego-ed up?

2008-07-18T03:14:00.004+01:00

Ever wondered if that bouncy ball in the karaoke songs could be a dot looking for his "i" letter?

Time Out

2008-07-15T02:38:00.002+01:00

"Time" is the most massacred word of them all, so it seems,check it out:

Time is beaten constantly , if time was a human in school it would be the geeky boy who was always bullied for his lunch money --> e.g."i´ll try to beat that time".

Time can be as well a junkie or so, as it seems there is always "waisted time.

Apparently time is morbid as well coz there´s plenty of "dead time" around.

Time can be a stressed out business man too since there is "time-lapse".

Sex Matter(s)

2008-07-15T02:38:00.001+01:00

Ejaculation can reach a speed of 50 Km/h, the same speed as a gun can kill a person.
It´s incredible how the human race can create 2 different ways to start/finish a life at the same speed

It takes 10 seconds for an erection to be acomplished, about the same time for a human to overcome a 100 mt race. They say that if you wish hard enough for something, it can happen, too bad this only applies for the first one.

2008-07-06T17:25:00.001+01:00

No Pain, No Game

2008-05-30T21:50:00.002+01:00

It´s curious to notice that the best sensations can come from reliefs, physical or physiological,
To be more specific I can exemplify this with thigh shoes for instance, when we use tight shoes for a whole day, in the end of it we feel oh so very well when taking them off isn’t it?
At a physiological level , there´s the pregnancy test factor, once you dont know if you got your woman pregnant with a new born child thats not in the plans , we tend to feel a huge relieve when this pregnancy test goes negative.
So then, why not we all go to the street wearing snickers 2 numbers bellow our real ones? Why not overload our bladders during a whole day like a huge pot of beer?
Why not stay famished all day forcing our stomachs to snore making people think we farted ourselves?
In a more extreme way, why not joining all these inconvenient and undesirable factors all together?
Imagine yourself travelling to work in the morning in a monocycle trough a rope with tight shoes, famished and with an overloaded bladder? I bet you´ll feel in heaven in the end of the day ma lad ;)

Miscellaneous post #5

2008-05-26T16:13:00.006+01:00

If a person is afraid of the dark but then again afraid of his shadow how would she deal with himself? -->

Arent dreams related to Subway rides?
in both of them we travel still, not having consciousness where we are exactly, in "deep"space and time passes by like a flash!

In shivery terms, kissing a ladies hand nowadays is considered charming.
Kissing a ladies hand in a cannibalistic civilization in the other hand would loose its shivery aspect since it would be considered an appetizer.

2008-05-22T20:31:00.001+01:00

Miscellaneous post #4

2008-03-15T16:41:00.001Z

What are Rappers but a reincarnation of magicians with arthritis.

Almost every single one of us had an imaginary friend when growing up, but in the meantime, some of them grew up and others exceeded their limits and turn themselves mimes.

I’ve saw a homeless person asking for change in from of a garbage bin, they might be hobos but they sure do have some nerve to ask us money to be welcome in their home

In a cannibal culture, kissing a woman in the hand would not be considered a sign of shivery but tasting the evening´s dinner.

Recycling "Matter"

2008-02-22T01:45:00.001Z

If the common saying "you are what you eat" is right, how come flies are still bearable?

Trough Science it is now possible to have a see-through frog, so I question myself, if one of these frogs drank lava lamp wouldn’t it became the lava lamp?

If snakes could eat themselves wouldn’t dogs be jealous?

Can a Jungle made of Origami Trees be an output of a Recycling Process?

2008-02-01T21:09:00.001Z

2008-01-02T02:28:00.000Z

Best Songs 2007

2007-12-30T19:49:00.000Z

1º Battles-Atlas
2º Arctic Monkeys-Fluroscent Adolescent
3º Justice-D.A.N.C.E.
4º M.I.A.-Paper Planes
5º The Go!team-Titanic Vandalism
6º Los Campesinos!-You! Me! Dancing!
7º The Wombats-Kill the Director
8º Radiohead-Videotape
9º LcD soundsystem-All my friends
10º The Wombats-Let´s Dance to Joy Division
11º The Go!team-Fake Id
12º The Pigeon Detectives-Take her back
13º The Teenagers-Homecoming
14º Arctic Monkeys-Brianstorm
15º Editors-Smokers outside the hospital doors
16º Arcade Fire-Windowsill
17º Radiohead-15 Step
18º Radiohead-All i Need
19º Foals-Hummer
20º Arctic Monkeys-D is for Dangerous
21º Jens Lekman-Kanske Är Jag Kär i Dig
22º Ra Ra Riot-The New Flesh
23º Ghost Frequency-Money on the Fire
24º Slow Club-summer shakedown
25º Sigur Ros-Von
26º Kate Nash-We get on
27º Arctic Monkeys-Teddy Picker
30º LcD soundsystem-someone great
31º Girl Talk-Smash your head
32º Ra Ra Riot- A Manner to act
33º Rilo Kiley-Silver Lining
34º Lily Allen-Heart of Glass
36º Maccabees-Latchemere
37º Klaxons-As Above so Bellow
38º Ra Ra Riot-Each Year
39º Blood Red Shoes-Its Getting Boring By The Sea
40º Of Montreal-A Sentence Of Sorts In Kongsvinger
41º Panda Bear-Take Pills
42º Bonde do Role-Office Boy
43º The Coathangers-Parking lot
44º Digitalism-Pogo
45º Emmy the Great-Canopies and Grapes

Best of 2007

2007-12-16T01:32:00.000Z

Presenting...the nonsene caracthers!

2007-12-08T00:48:00.000Z

(a)cross words

2007-12-02T23:37:00.000Z

If the word "anagram" was a relationship some syllables had to break up because the first two syllables were the only ones that stayed true to its whole meaning. =D

2007-11-12T00:36:00.001Z

2007-10-22T22:10:00.000+01:00

2007-09-20T15:44:00.001+01:00

2007-09-01T19:58:00.000+01:00

2007-08-26T19:28:00.001+01:00

2007-08-19T20:36:00.000+01:00

I dont understand people´s need to refresh some websites

Hurrayyy Morse Code!

2007-08-14T02:38:00.000+01:00

-- --- .-. ... . | -.-. --- -.. . | .-. . .- .-.. .-.. -.-- | ... ..- -.-. -.- ... | -.. --- . ... -. - | .. - |

A .- B -... C -.-. D -.. E . F ..-. G --. H .... I .. J .--- K -.- L .-.. M -- N -. O --- P .--. Q --.- R .-. S ... T - U ..- V ...- W .-- X -..- Y -.-- Z --..

batteries not included

2007-08-07T03:30:00.000+01:00

One of these days i saw an ad for a hearing amplifier device that could put you hearing a coin falling 10mt away. I think superman is going to be pretty pissed off when he knows superpower can be purchased for 4.99€

2007-07-15T17:20:00.000+01:00

2007-07-03T02:11:00.000+01:00

So Fresh and So Clean

2007-06-25T00:06:00.000+01:00

Once and againt we all recieve some pamphlets about some promotions or something else and there´s always someone who doesnt mind and throws them away.Question is, if some pamphlet would advertise ecological matters like not polluting the streets would those people do the same thing?

The True History About The Word Picnic

2007-06-14T02:00:00.000+01:00

Принимаем заявки на

2007-06-01T02:59:00.000+01:00

Wearing your jacket inside the house is like beeing stuck on an airport waiting for your delayed flight, you never know when you´re going to leave.

Dancing to Electro pop like a robot from 1984!

2007-05-21T22:20:00.000+01:00

In some parts of the world, especially in India and Pakistan, there is a typical attraction which goes by the name of snake charming, which basically can be described by a stunt where a snake responds (in sort of a dance) to tunes played from a flute by a snake charmer.
Well, seems now that in this modern age snakes are being charmed by other sorts of meanings, 80´s video game music to be more precise! And look! They´ve gone all electro pop dancers now!

Colorblind Anaglyph

2007-05-15T22:41:00.000+01:00

How are colorblind people suppose to see in 3d vision? If they can’t distinguish certain colors how do they deal with 3D glasses? I guess those glasses are their solution since they’re unable to distinguish, getting them all mixed up with 2colors might solve them their problem: P

Painted By Numbers

2007-05-13T03:01:00.000+01:00

“80´s life” is definitely the ultimate ambivalent expression. Not only it can mean the way of life in the 80´s decade but also to express disregard and hatred towards a Guy (80´s life=hate is life).

One Pukes Over the Cuckoo's Nest

2007-05-06T20:27:00.000+01:00

In my view, the perfect gift for mothers day would be a cut in the monthly allowance, either you want it your not you’re spending her money as her son/daughter: P

Don’t you think 2year old kids should be grounded not to remember mother’s day? I do! :P

Don’t you just hate when you’re waiting for the right moment to give your mom her mother’s day gift and the news on TV are constantly reminding everyone its mother’s day? It’s like the ultimate anti ice breaker.

Subdeveloped Post

2007-05-03T02:25:00.000+01:00

How are people in tribes turned on if they’re all naked? Do they get turned on if someone puts on clothes?

la technique de mimique c´est fantastique

2007-04-26T02:03:00.000+01:00

Imagine an unemployed mime, making an effort to get a proper job he might stumble onto some inconveniences when searching, for instance, he couldn’t be a:
Lawyer:-Reason: Court wouldn’t find enough dictionary card notes for him to expose his defendence.
Construction Worker:-Reason: Buildings are not made of air
Magician:-Reason: altough they have white gloves too, you can’t make disappear what doesn’t already exist

If a mime sleepwalks is he still on his “job” duty?

What if a mime is claustrophobic? How can he get out of his glass box? Traps himself in a real one?

2007-04-22T14:58:00.000+01:00

Once upon a time there was this poem that didn’t rhyme and although it actually do,
it slowly started to describe his feelings about you
The poem then took shape and eventually grew like an earthquake
Then...all hell broke loose, grammatical spells! Millions to choose!
Coz the purpose of it all was for Cutchie and that’s all ^^

Between Love and Hate

2007-04-14T16:26:00.000+01:00

Love wise, I tend to compare love/hate relationships to human/toilet relation, I mean either you find the toilet disgusting when for its rights purposes or absolutely useful and true "friend" when you have to throw up :P

What’s the difference between a ninja and a:

2007-04-04T17:12:00.000+01:00

Gothic: even tough they dress in black gothic people know how to grab attention

Mime: Mimes have zebra camouflages and can be seen unless they construct an imaginary cell

Security Guard: Although both dressed in black these are ninja’s victims and handicap ninjas are their victims

2007-03-24T00:11:00.000Z

Death From Above

2007-03-20T02:45:00.000Z

If a Person that died says on his will that all his money should be buried with him can we say that money can be planted?
If so, not only land can be valued but also the underground, I´m sure moles would find themselves ways of getting some glasses

What is Bungee Jumping but suicide attempts not taken seriously

Best Argument

2007-03-16T15:31:00.000Z

I’m sure all of you heard of the Oscar category named” best argument”, well, here’s a list of some possible nominations,since its best argument, boxing duels are not allowed of course:

John says:” you and me Alex. outside! immediately, otherwise ill break your face here
Alex replies: “hey! Don’t push your luck mate!! or else…”
John questions himself: “Or else what?”
John answers enthusiastically: “or else……… youu …MIGHT WIN A TRIP TO CANCUN WITH BREAKFAST REGIME INCLUDED!!! :D

Michael turns to Jim and says: “ hey…pass me that soda will ya?
Jim replies: “ ahah, go get it yourself you lazy bastard! “
Michael strikes: “ hoy! You’re getting on my nerves you twat!”
Jim brilliantly raps it off: “really? And to think that you were not a drug addict :P”

David says: “ i´m really tired of studying for this exam, I guess im taking a break now”
Sarah mocks: “ahah,,you´re such a pussy, cant handle a stupid exam”
David reposts: “leave me alone, im loosing my edge here!”
Sarah finishes off: “ better take the plane the next time then :P “

2007-03-12T00:07:00.000Z

Super Heros true identity

2007-03-09T01:09:00.000Z

Darth Vader(Star Wars)
Asmatic mid aged geek that finds himself confident when dressed inblack

Snarf (Thundercats)
Drug addict, Rehab frequenter who’s trapped in an adorable looking cat figure. Long bearded dwarfs don’t fool me!

Bumblebee (Transformers)
Unemployed taxi that was unable to sort out a proper taxi driver due to his “metamorphic” problems .

Optimus Prime( Transformers)
Narcissistic transformer with self esteem problems that in the TRA (transformer robots anonymous) reunion was told he wasn’t able to transform into nothing but a truck

He-Man (He-Man and the masters of the universe)
Self Confessed Homosexual who obviously is afraid to come out of the closet and reclaims he’s ”the master of the universe”, I Reckon that universe must be Broadway or something, that haircut has to have some purpose.

Miscellaneous-part 3

2007-03-02T01:46:00.000Z

I wanted to give old clothes to charity once, but what if a new fashion trend arrives and i got nowhere to turn? :P

Sluts are like cab drivers.. they wait for us, we are kindly invited to "penetrate" them and they might take us to places that we never been before

I wonder if a Hunger Strike in favor of the the Anorexic People´s rights would be taken seriously.

Sacré Bleu

2007-02-24T15:14:00.000Z

What would a policeman say to a burglar mime who was robbing a bank?
"you have the right to remain still, every re-enactment of any weapon or rope should be used against you in death sentence if necessary”

Publicity Stunt

2007-02-24T04:04:00.000Z

Imagine a funeral shop with a massive financial crisis in hand and lack of demand, in extreme situations like this It would be favorable to the shop to be Advertised trough a huge sparkling neon sign saying something like “Die Here!!!” for example, therefore it would get the drivers attentions on the road, causing accidents and more “clients” to the store itself: P

Time Honoured Tradition

2007-02-15T00:01:00.000Z

Ever wondered what artists are on about when receiving awards on some ceremony? "I would like to thank the people from my record label… they know who they are". What da?!??! Well, I was studying this and came out with some conclusions for the reasons to this sentence:

a) The people they’re thanking had existential crisis and are now on a good conditional stage
b) Not only they’re thanking them for the support but also for not having any more existential crisis coz if they had it, the artist by now could have been a fisherman and not a musician
c) The artist wanted to make a statement to prove the record company is not run by babies and were already informed of their names by their mothers.

Which might be the correct reason? If you went for b) congratulations! You might wanna thank me now, and say to me that I know who I am : P

Perfect Thefts #1

2007-01-19T21:22:00.000Z

Some person going to the supermarket, shopping for markers, takes them out of their package to see its color (by writing in the same package) and not taking the product.

Post It

2007-01-12T20:18:00.000Z

Mushi-Mushi

2007-01-10T18:59:00.000Z

Ever wonder why china has so much population? And what about when cartoon characters dig holes and end up in the other part of the world which, for reasons unknown, is always in China? No wonder you find these specimens out on the streets there then-->

Not tested in humans

2006-12-31T03:35:00.000Z

If all the existing moles were claustrophobic there would be earthquakes spread all over the world

Even if a baby glow worm was afraid of the dark there would be plenty of presence lights to back him up

Best Songs2006

2006-12-16T20:06:00.000Z

1º Lily Allen - LDN
2º Klaxons-Atlantis to interzone
3º CSS-Superafim
4º The Pipettes - Pull Shapes
5º The Strokes-Razorblade
6º Be Your Own Pet- Adventure.
7º The Automatic -Monster
8º Artic Monkeys-A Certain Romance
9º Test icicles - catch it
10º Artic Monkeys- Fake Tales of San Francisco
11º CSS- Let's make love and listen death from above
12º Lily Allen-smile
13º Jamie T-Sheila
14º CSS-Bezzi
15º Be Your Own Pet- Girls On TV
16º The Kooks - she moves in her own way
17º Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - The Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth
18º The Strokes-You Only Live Once
19º Get Cape.Wear Cape.Fly.-Call Me Ishmael
20º The Gossip - Listen Up!
21º The Longcut- A Tried And Tested Method
22º The Guillemots-Made Up Love Song #43
23º The Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control
24º Lily Allen-Not Big
25º Cat Power-TheGreatest
26º The Long Blondes-once and never again
27º Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancing
28º The Sounds-24 Hours
29º Lady Sovereign - Random
30º Regina Spektor-Fidelity
31º The Fratellis-Chelsea Dagger
32º The Long Blondes-Seperated By Motorways
33º Albert Hammond junior - back to the 101
34º The Longcut-Spires
35º Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - In This Home On Ice
36º The Rakes- Work, Work, Work (Pub, Club, Sleep)
37º The Killers - Read my mind
38º The Sunshine Underground - Put You In Your Place
39º The Rakes - 22 Grand Job
40º Klaxons- Gravity´s rainbow

00/00/00 -->worldwide holiday(beginning of the world)

2006-12-15T02:37:00.000Z

A good way for a couple to save some money with their son´s presents is to calculate the exact time to procreate for the baby to be born in the Christmas day, therefore he would only deserve one gift and make the couple spendings way more cheap! :D

The Elixir of youth is to be born in the 29th of February! Therefore you only age after 4 years pass by! :P

Emo´s Cook Book

2006-12-14T00:14:00.000Z

To all the emos out there,
Throw yer wrists in the air,
Cut them like you just dont care

Best in Music 2006

2006-12-09T03:41:00.001Z

Make Tea Not Love

2006-12-05T01:23:00.000Z

I’ve Finally Figured out the solution to stop the war, every nation should be only armed with champagne bottles, not only the soldiers would have a single shot but they would get to drunk until they could “reload” their ammunition.